Open questions and active listening
The first conversation is where the relationship is built. Two skills carry most of it: asking open questions and listening actively to the answers.
Open questions vs closed questions
- Open questions invite the person to direct the conversation. They cannot be answered with yes/no. "Tell me more about what's been happening since we last spoke." "What would an okay week look like for you?" "What matters to you, at the moment?"
- Closed questions are useful to focus and clarify. "Do you have caring responsibilities at home?" "Did you manage to call them?"
A useful rule of thumb: start open, narrow with closed questions only when you need a specific piece of information.
What active listening looks like
The framework names it explicitly:
- Use body language and non-verbal cues — posture, proximity, eye contact, pauses, nods.
- Be psychologically present: minimise distractions, hear what the person is communicating including the things they are not saying out loud.
- Reflect back using the same language the person used. This is one of the simplest and most powerful trust-building tools you have. If they say "knackered", you say "knackered" — not "fatigued".
A short script for the first session
- "Thanks for coming in. Before we start, can I check what your name is, and how you'd like me to use it?"
- "I'm here to spend time with you, across a few sessions, to understand what matters to you and what kind of support might help. Nothing's a quick fix — and nothing's compulsory."
- "To start with — what's been on your mind lately?"
Then listen. Reflect. Summarise. Move when the person is ready.
What to avoid
- Filling silence with suggestions
- Jumping to "fixes" before you understand
- Over-clinical jargon (use plain language; we'll come back to this in the de-mystifying lesson)
- Promising outcomes you can't deliver.
Linked competencies
This lesson addresses:
- Gathers information and adapts questioning style (Domain 1)
- Demonstrates active listening (Domain 1)
- Empathises with individuals' thoughts, feelings and actions (Domain 1).